Trying hard.
Striving.
Pushing ourselves.
These are approaches that we are surrounded with in our Society. No Pain, No Gain is a commonly heard mantra. We learn to ignore our feelings and instincts, and we learn to push through our pain and discomfort so we achieve our goals.
Interestingly, when I searched Google for images on Pushing and Striving, which I see as negative, unhealthy approaches, the majority of images are positive. We truly do value achievement and outcomes more than we value ourselves.
Can this really be any different to how things have been in the past, we might ask?
I suggest that is it really is different. Media means we are aware of the gaze of others in every corner of our lives. There are no really private spaces anymore.
We share photos of our bare bodies. Of our meals. Of our washing piles. Of our toiletry cabinets. You know what I mean. There are no unknown areas.
Anywhere.
Anymore.
And while that can help us become better organised, and function more smoothly, it also introduces pressure.
If it can be done, then it's easy to think it should be done. It's easy to think we are less valuable. It's easy to think we should just try harder. Do more. Listen less to our bodies which are saying we can't really manage it.
However, burnt out people, and burnt out bodies suggest the results are not as glammy as we'd hope. Pushing and striving just isn't working for us
.
A simple question to bring balance is, Do I want this?
This question puts us back in charge of our lives. It supports us to identify whose energy is really motivating us. It support us to decide whose goals we want to achieve. And gently it reframes our energy: rather than pushing and striving, we reposition ourselves to pursuing what we really want to.
Rather than pushing and striving, or lighting a fire beneath us, harness the fire within us, and work with Our Energy.
Arohanui.
Contact me: Lorraine Dodd: Counsellor in Howick, Auckland 0221 874 057, through the contact section http://lorrainedodd.wix.com/lorraine-dodd by email nurturinghope@gmail.com or Private Message me through Facebook
