Parenting our boys.
And supporting men as they journey towards more satisfying ways of being a man.
Steve Biddulf is an author I will often recommend to clients. Healing the Father Wound is his guiding principle. He addresses modes to heal this wound in two ways. Firstly, he speaks to parents, with concise, easy to grasp and deeply insightful suggestions, on raising boys. Secondly, he speaks frankly to men about how to engage with their fathers.
Fixing the relationship with Father is the beginning of stepping fully into being a mature man. Biddulf would say that men cannot successfully get on with their life until they have understood, forgiven, and come, in some way, to respect their own father.
Everyone takes childhood perceptions into their adult life and we all base many beliefs upon the limited, ego-centric perceptions we formulate during childhood. Biddulf encourages men to take time to understand the larger picture of their childhood. Sift and sort through the bundle of ideas and impressions from childhood that have been carried through to adult life. Engage with Dad and ask him about what was happening for him when he was raising us as children. Go even further back, and wonder about his childhood and his own relationship with his father.
This process of sifting through the past is as valuable for women as it is for men, and is a common part of psychotherapy. Guiding men to focus on these areas is not new. However, Biddulf's strength is the strength and clarity with which he speaks to men. He has a voice that men hear, respect and relate to.
Do check Biddulf out. His books Raising Boys, and The New Manhood are absolutely valuable reads for fathers, men, and anyone with boys or men in their life.
This article summarises Biddulf and his work:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/7894318/Turning-boys-into-men.html
Arohanui.
Contact me: Lorraine Dodd: Counsellor in Howick, Auckland 0221 874 057, through the contact section http://lorrainedodd.wix.com/lorraine-dodd by email nurturinghope@gmail.com or Private Message me through Facebook
