Let's get real.
Let's get as real as we can.
Let's put aside pretense wherever we can, and honestly acknowledge when we are struggling.
Some of us do this more easily than others. Some cultures do it more easily than others. Generally, we Kiwis struggle to be open about finding life difficult, and we struggle to allow others to support us. We can be physically, and obviously burdened with a heavy load, yet stalwartly assert that we doing fine.
We're not! And that's why someone offered to help!
Just as we struggle to uphold the sense that we can cope with anything physical, we also struggle to maintain the myth that we can ride through any emotional hurdle that Life has brought before us. "No no! I'll be OK!"
How many times have we heard, "No no! I'll be OK!", in answer to our offer to help? How many times have we said, "No no! I'll be OK!", in answer to someone's kind offer to help?
I'm loving these lyric from Twenty One Pilots (I'm now a devotee after getting my groove on at their Auckland concert in April): We all know somebody who knows somebody who's doing great, I know some people who know people who are flying straight
Read the lyrics, and listen to their song here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1F-q4sp0Hf8
For me, these lines address the pretense we can weave around ourselves.
We'd all love to be the person who's doing well.
But actually, we're not doing so well. And really, no-one we actually know is really doing that well. And the person who is doing well, is a mythic figure.
We're all doing what we can, yet all of us are struggling with something.
I'd love us to be more real about our struggles, and our difficulties. Let's try softening our response the next time someone offers us help: "Yes! Thank you. I'd love some help!"
In that moment of receiving support, connection and relationship grows deeper.
Vulnerability is what we all have.
Yet the hidden lining of vulnerability is that life becomes richer when we acknowledge it.
Arohanui.
Contact me: Lorraine Dodd: Counsellor in Howick, Auckland 0221 874 057, through the contact section http://lorrainedodd.wix.com/lorraine-dodd by email nurturinghope@gmail.com or Private Message me through Facebook
