Behaviour.
Sometimes we all need to make changes in how we're interacting with others.
And sometimes we need to support our children with changes that we can see they need to make in their behaviour.
Here's a simple, but tried and true, idea for implementing change. Adult clients have used it with success, and clients have used it with their children.
It's simply this.
After each incident of the unwanted behaviour, simply place a big black cross on a calendar. It's most effective if the mark is placed there by the one who is working on changing their behaviour. A calendar that is only used for this purpose is best. The calendar does not even need to be in a public space. Public humiliation is not the goal. It's simply about gathering an accurate picture about how often a behaviour is happening.
And that's all there is to it.
There's not particular need for reproving talk, or stern words. The growing visual record of accumulating black marks starts to speak to the one in process of behavioural change more loudly than any words we could speak.
Any why does it work?
All of us, young or mature, are pretty good at excusing our behaviour, and at glossing over our less than pretty moments. This visual record quite simply demolishes our ability to hide our own awareness of our own behaviour.
And most of us, young or mature, don't really want to behave badly. So, when evidence builds in an undeniable way, most of us, young or mature, will start to draw on our better behaviour.
Why not give this simple strategy a go?
Do let me know if you've ever tried this, or something like this. Maybe you have your own Magic Bullet way of changing behaviour? I'd love to know!